Chalice Veil
Chalice Veil
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What do you think of these short poems?
Fallacy's Challice(June 2007)
Our love has become
a noxious red wine in
fallacy's chalice.
Murderer of pain(July 2007)
Rainstorm's pure offspring
caresses the flesh of me,
suffocating pain.
Veil of Winter(July 2007)
Diamond paradise
glitters like crystal glass and
veils flaws of the past.
The Devils Cologne
(8/24/07)
Sultry devils mist
mixed with burning desire
stings yet lures my nose.
Do you have any critique to make these better?
Wow, can you give honest opinions please?
And thanks for the critique to the one who gave a honest opinion.
Not bad, a tad sluggish, you should be more clear within grammar and context, overall great concept, well done.